Why Getting Married Means Divorce

Getting married means that you have to get divorced. Not to your spouse, but to your stuff. No matter what life was like before you got married it is inevitable, you are going to have a lot of junk, and your partner will have their fair share as well. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that as soon as you move in together, there will be a lot of junk! Unless you have an unlimited amount of storage space, you are going to have to divorce some of it.

Three weeks after we got married I divorced half of my bathroom. I had kept everything I had ever used. It took two hours, but when I was done I had four trash bags of old shampoo, conditioner, body wash, hair products, combs, make-up. You name it, there was some of it in my cabinets. I had not gone through those cabinets, since we had re-painted my bathroom six maybe seven years ago. It was truly insane; but it was worth it. Jacob had room for his stuff, I had more storage space, and ultimately we were both happier.

Same goes for your closet. Jacob and I went through our closet together. The plan is to get in our house ASAP, but until then, we had to have more room in our closet. So we got three tubs. One for keepsake items, (like vacation t-shirts, or things like cheer uniforms). Two for summer clothes, and one basket for things that needed to be given away. I just thought it took a long time to go through my bathroom. It took us hours to go through all of it.

However, it was seriously worth the time, and effort it took to get rid of all of it. We were both so much happier, because we finally had room to move around a little.

Life after the Wedding day

Since last Tuesday Jacob and I have been married a month, like most brides I spent a lot of time planning my wedding. I pinned things on Pinterest, talked on The Knot, went on a hunt for a wedding dress. But I also, like most brides have dealt with Post Wedding Blues. In fact Post Wedding Blues is such a common thing in newlyweds that The Knot decided to make a forum for newlyweds to talk about it!

The biggest question I keep asking my self, is why do I have Post wedding Blues? I have a Husband, we are working on our house. We had our first Christmas as a married couple, we got our pictures back, I am learning to cook, we are learning how to be a married couple.

Everything is great, I love Jacob, he loves me, we had a beautiful wedding; and if all of this is true then why do I keep changing my mind about rather I hate or love my wedding photos? Why do I have Post wedding Blues? I have narrowed it down to a few things.

1. Pinterest

Like most brides I spent a lot of time on Pinterst looking for this or that, or just looking for general wedding ideas. Which may have been the worst thing I did. It seems fine at the time, but afterwards, when you can’t go back and change things you start to think things like; my wedding didn’t look like that, I should have chosen to get that instead of this, and I forgot about having those, I never got around to it.

My solution: delete all of your wedding boards! I had about ten boards dedicated to wedding related pins: Cakes, dresses, bridal party, favors, etc.. Just delete them. Kiss them all good bye, and believe me it can be hard to do. But it stop all of those little thoughts, the what “ifs”. When I deleted all of my wedding boards I went from having 73 boards to having 52! I feel great about it. Excuse me while I go replace them with food, and house boards.

2. Bridal magazines

I bought all of them, no kidding. I had 28 of them, 28! I gave them all away, to a friend who is getting married, she can have them all. I did however keep one. The first one I bought, the week we got engaged.

Seriously,throw them out, burn them, use them as umbrellas, whatever you decide to do, do it now! It will feel good to have them out of your closet, not to mention having does gone will make more room for more shoes.

3. Unlike/un-follow wedding pages
I had liked them all, and followed all of the boards on Pinterest. Before the wedding I loved seeing all of those post but now, every time I see one I think why do I have that here? It cleared up my news feed a lot on Facebook as well.

If you are like me, you are sitting there like, well there went half of my social life down the drain. Well not quite yet. I came up with a few solutions to fill all of that empty space.

1. Make a Wedding board of your wedding!

I can’t do this yet, because my photographer is trying to get my wedding published. But when I can I will make a Pinterest board of my wedding. It will be a really neat thing to look at, and think how cool it will be if people pin your ideas! Any time you start to miss your wedding, you can just pull up Pinterest, it is that easy.

2.Show off your photos

Make a scrapbook! I can not wait to get my prints in. Although I am not sure if I am more excited for that, or the excuse to go to Hobby Lobby and buy new stuff.  If that is not your thing, make an album on Facebook, and tag your friends in it. Besides it will be fun to fill Facebook up with something happy and beautiful (for once).

3. Write your Love Story

As soon as I finish my college degree, (hopefully in December), I am going to start writing our love story. Is there a better way to save those memories and feelings than writing them down?

4. Go through, or make a memory box

Jacob and I have one, and I love to go through it! It is filled with all of these random things from when we were dating, the night we got engaged, and up till the wedding. We have to start a new one for our married life, but I want to get a new box for it. I still have most of the little notes that he would pass me during class and things like that.

5. Put together a book of cards

Jacob and I got a scrapbook to put all of our wedding cards in. It is a really convenient way to look at them whenever you like, without them getting lost.

6. Go back to college, get a new project

Do all of those things that you wanted to do, but you were too busy for.

7. Stop and think

Stop and just look at your Husband. Did you marry him just so you can have the whole wedding experience? If you did, you have the wrong idea of what a marriage is. I may have only been married a month, but I can tell you that there is much more than that. I may miss all of the buzz that came with wedding plans, but there is no way I would ever trade it for our marriage. I would rather be married to my Husband for a year, then plan a wedding for three years. I wouldn’t trade a second of married life for a month of wedding planning.

Marriage is not going to always be easy, and I don’t expect it to be. But I would rather go through all of those hard times with my Husband, than anyone else in the world.