Life Changes

Life changes, it is a fact of life. People will say things like “Without change there wouldn’t be any butterflies.”  Life changes, and not all changes are good. I know God works all things out for the better of his people. But that doesn’t mean that it is all going to be good, and that life is always going to change the way you want it to, because the truth is; no one has complete control of their life. No. One. Does.

There is only one person who does, God. God has control, and you know what His plans are totally different than your plans. He has control to put people in your life, than yank them away. In the long run, that might be better; but in the mean time it stinks.

It hurts, when people don’t talk to you, or when they do everything they can to avoid you. When people walk out of your life, it hurts. Even if those people leave unintentionally. It hurts when people aren’t considerate of other people. It just does; but you want to know what I have learned from all of it? From all of the times that people have ignored my texts, got up and left from the lunch table, lied to me because they just didn’t want to talk at that moment, ignored me while I was talk to them.

I have learned that people are flawed, we all are. There is not a single human being that is perfect, we all make mistakes. I learned that you can not live your life for people. You have to live your life for God. You can’t change your entire life for some if they won’t do the same for you.

God is going to be there at the end of every day, and even if you feel like he has left you in the dark, when you feel like he has hung up on you. He hasn’t he is waiting on the other end of the line, waiting for you to come back. When you feel alone, and like no one wants to be your friend, when you feel like no one can understand what you are going through; God does, and he is always there, always listening. God doesn’t move, people do. God promises that he won’t leave us, he is constant. He always has, and he always will be there. Waiting.

I think that the best thing about God, is that he will always love you. No matter what you did, he is willing to forgive you, and let you back in to his arms. No matter how far you run, he will always be sitting there with open arms, waiting for you. It is one of the hardest things for us as people to believe, because as people we aren’t like that. But God is bigger than all of us, he is the most patient, understanding, loving, and accepting thing there is; and He will always love you. He will always be there.

Next time you feel alone, like the world has turned its’ back on you, remember

that God hasn’t and that he is always waiting for you to talk to him.

I do not own the rights to this picture. You can find it here.

Natalie+LT=$?$?$

Let us play pretend for bit.

I got the base idea for LT my senior year, but it wasn’t until two months ago that I started actually writing it. I tried and tried to write it before, but nothing worked. Nothing. One day after watching a interview with Veronica Roth about her most recent book, it clicked. I started writing, and I couldn’t stop.

Until now.

I am at 23K, twenty three thousand words. All of them useless, because I am stuck. There is nowhere left for the book to go. I have the ending written, I have the beginning written. It is the getting from point A to point B that is the problem. I have never gotten this far before.

So until I can move past this writers block, I will pretend like it is going to be a best seller. I will pretend that it is already published, and in the hands of readers everywhere. I will pretend like I have fan pages for my book, and that everyone is awaiting the next installment in the series.  I will pretend, that I am going to one day be signing books at Barnes and Noble; because lets face it, you have not really made it until you have a book signing at Barnes and Nobel.

Well I guess that is more of a half way point. When the book is a movie, that is when you have made it!

LT will never be there, I know that. Very few books actually get there, but while it is still my personal project. While I am the only one that has seen it, I can pretend that it is everything, and more!

When I have finished writing LT, I will edit it, then I might let someone read it. Then I will edit again, and again, and again. Honestly, I am looking forward to the editing stage. Once it is reader worthy, or part way there. I will look for an agent. I will be turned down a couple of hundred times, then finally I will find someone that thinks my book is worth something. I would love to be published with Harper Collins, but that won’t happen. I will probably end up with a very tiny company, that has very little to offer; but I will be happy, because I will be published.

Once I am published, I will do a happy dance, then I will go back to banging my head on the key board; because I have more than one book I want to write.

If I ever finish LT, I will treat myself to as much Cheesecake Factory 30th Anniversary Cheesecake I can eat.

That is if I get past twenty-three thousand words.

I do not own the rights to this picture.

Where do you want to be in five years?

This was one question that I got asked all of the time my senior year, that and where are you going to college? I came up with some answer, it usually changed depending on how in-depth I wanted to get, that and who was asking.

I have always had big goals in life, (I will admit that they were sometimes a little unrealistic, but what is the point in dreaming if you don’t go all out?)

In five years, I want have my book done, and my masters in Psychology. That is realistic right? Five years is a long time to write a book and get a degree. Not that those are the only things I want to have accomplished. I want to have much, much more done than that.

Has anyone ever realized how long five years is? Five years is a long time. Not in the scheme of things, but still. That is 1,825 days.

That no one is promised.  Maybe that’s the scariest part.

The fact that none of us really know how long we have. Why do we waste so much time? When we take in to consideration that we might not have the next 1,825 days to get things done, would the things that we care about now really mater? If you had five years to live, would you change how you are living today?

I know I would.

I would let go of things that weren’t in my control, I would try to worry less over all. I would spend more time doing things that make me happy, and that I care about. I would spend more time studying God’s word, and talking to him. I would talk to everyone I met, I would try to change as many lives as I could. Not to quote John Green, but the marks humans leave are too often scars, and I would want to make sure that any scars I made were replaced with love.

The good thing, is that most of us have longer than five years to live, and we need to start living like that today. Because the truth is, that no one knows when their last day will be.

 

This post took an unexpected turn, so maybe tomorrow night I will blog about the topic I actually wanted to blog about.

 

The Treadmill Desk

I do not own the rights to this picture.

Since November, I have wanted a treadmill desk. I started looking for them, when I found out that they can increase productivity up to fifty percent, I was sold. It doesn’t hurt that Veroinca Roth used one when she wrote Allegiant, if she can do it I can do right?

Wrong.

We got a treadmill from my sister, in exchange for an elliptical. I have not even put the desk on it, and I have already changed my mind. I found a really neat DIY way to make a treadmill desk, that didn’t ruin the treadmill.

We got the treadmill on Sunday morning, by Sunday night I learned three things:

1. I am way more out of shape than I thought. (I could hardly do the slowest “slow”).

2. I can’t walk on it long enough to get anything done anyway. Seriously, the longest I could stay on was twelve minutes, and I was worn out.  Who can get anything done in Twelve minutes?

3. You never know how out of shape you are, until you step foot on a treadmill.

Even with all of these things, I am still going to make my Treadmill desk, and try using it. It might be hard at first, but maybe by the time I actually finish writing LT, I will be able to walk on it for five hours. I can hope right?

The Faults in our Stars

Most people on the day of the Superbowl watch football. Me, I read a book. Like most people I watched the trailer

for The Faults in out Stars, and fell in love with it. I had not read the book, because it was a cancer book; and we all know how those end.

Why can’t they make one, just one where they all live? But no, they can’t possibly do that, there wouldn’t be a point. For once I would like to see a cancer book actually end happy. Now days peoples chances of surviving are getting higher and higher (for most cancers). So why can’t we have a book work the same way? Is it too much to ask?

Sorry, end rant.

Anyway, I did the one thing I said I wouldn’t do. I read the book. and I Cried. My. Eyes. Out.

The first half of the book was funny, and enjoyable and romantic. Then you have the second half that is sort of funny and heart wrenching.  I cried and I cried and I cried. But it was only for the last I don’t know,thirty pages?

However all, it was a really good book, and I recommend it. But make sure you have some tissues first.

I bought my copy at Walmart, but you can buy it here from Amazon.

I’m Back, Kind of

Last week I deiced to take a break from the blogosphre, and work on my book. Just kidding. Actually I had a blog post that I wrote, and felt like I should publish, but in the end I didn’t. I couldn’t. So you guys got a break from me, and I got a chance to do other things.

On the truthful side, I have been working on my book, and it just hit 20K words. Which sounds great , (and it is), but I still have a minimum of 30K to go. Honestly, I think my book is a piece of junk, but that’s okay, because it still loves me. I have decided that if I ever finish it, I will celebrate by eating an entire  Trial Cake, all by my self. I will explain what a Trial cake is when I figure out exactly what it will consist of. I have not decided what I will do if, if, I get it published. That is a big, big if.

Just in case anyone is wondering, (which you probably are not), no. You are not allowed to read it, see it, or get on to my computer and read it. I will however, be looking for people to read it, if and when I finish it. So keep checking back.

I must go now, Willah (Jacob added the h on the end)  is chewing on the wall again.